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I was given the task of making sure no one touched a fence that had just been painted, and do you know what? It was like watching cricket.
A new and easy test for COVID-19 doing the rounds.
Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there. Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.
I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!
FC Coupe?
First world war, two trenches 200 metres apart, one occupied by Germans the other by an Irish regiment, theres a stalemate , nobody has shot anybody for a whole week, on both sides they are getting very bored.
Mick says to Paddy…I’ve an idea, what’s the most common name in Germany ?
Paddy says…Gunther, I’d say it’s Gunther.
Mick says…. Right, here’s what we’ll do, you get your rifle ready and I’ll shout across no mans land GUNTHER, ARE YE THERE ? and when one of them s<span class=”text_exposed_show”>ticks he’s head up you shoot him, right ?
Paddy says…Great idea let’s try it.
So Paddy gets ready and Mick shouts across to the German trenches HEY , GUNTHER ARE YOU THERE ?
Up pops a Germans head and BANG, Paddy shoots him.
The two of them can’t believe it worked, so Paddy says…. Try it again Mick.
Mick shouts out…GUNTHER, HEY, GUNTHER.
Again a German head pops up and again, BANG, Paddy shoots him.
They can’t believe their luck, and seven more times they do it and each time a head pops up and Paddy shoots him.
The Germans are getting a bit sick of this so Fritz says to he’s buddy Hermann….Vot is de most common name in Ireland ?
Hermann says…I believe it is Paddy, yes it is definately Paddy, of this I am sure.
Fritz says…We vill play them at their own game, you get ready to shoot and I vill call out ze name Paddy.
So Hermann gets ready and Fritz shouts across no mans land PADDY, I VANT A VORD VIT YOU PLEASE.
No answer comes back, no head pops up, so he tries again PADDY, CAN YOU HEAR ME, ARE YOU THERE ?
Still no answer, so he shouts across again PADDY ARE YOU THERE? PADDY PADDY
Voice answers back…IS THAT YOU GUNTHER ?</span>Yes great advice there as pipes are the biggest challenge in any V8 build.
I got home at 3am, steaming drunk, and half a kebab down my shirt. My wife had a fit.I thought “I’ll sort her out in the morning. I’m not gonna let her epilepsy ruin my night”.
The ideal man comes home early, doesn’t come first, doesn’t complain doesn’t cheat, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t gamble and doesn’t exist.
If planning on visiting North Queensland or any of Queensland, we’re doing OK here right now with COVID cases. We watch in horror as the rest of the country spikes and wonder how long before it makes its way here.
So if you plan on vacationing at our rivers, lakes or on our waterfalls this winter, I think you should know that red ants and bedbugs have infested hotels, motels and cabins across the area due to an unusual spring.Crocs have eaten all domesticated animals and som<span class=”text_exposed_show”>e smaller people.</span>
We have had rabid dingo sightings at every park and town. We have Bigfoots INVADING OUR PARKS.
Porcupines “stabbing” small children should they dare to enter the Bush!
Drop bears have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs.
Murder hornets!?! We’ve got SHITLOADS of murder hornets. Not to mention the nasty redbacksHead lice now fly… right beside the bats.
So stay where you are, in your own state or country where it’s safe!
Seriously, PLEASE DO NOT COME HERE…
and we also have NO TOILET PAPER!
After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.
An old minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled out. New dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, using his new dentures, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. On the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way: “The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my new dentures were hurting me a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures and I couldn’t shut up.”
“What would you like?” says the barman. “What would I like?” says Bob. “A bigger house, more money and a more attractive wife.” “No,” says the barman, patiently. “I meant what do you want?” “To win the lottery, for my mother-in-law to die and for my child to be born healthy!” “What’s it to be?” says the barman, less patiently. “A boy or a girl, I don’t care”. “You misunderstand me” says the barman impatiently, “I only asked what you want to drink?” “Oh” says Bob, I see. “Why didn’t you say so? What have you got?” “Nothing at all” says the barman. “I’m perfectly healthy”.
That’s the massive filter element I was telling you about Mick..
Took me a while to get onto to this mate, as you know big job to attend to this as a maintenance item intank. I reckon a remote filter is the best option.
