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<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>I love Halloween… seeing the looks on the kids faces as they bite into their toffee onion..</span>
Harley Davidson is closing many of its Plants Due to Declining Sales. Apparently, the Baby Boomers all have motorcycles, and Generation X is only buying a very few and the next generation, the Millennials, aren’t buying any at all. A recent study was conducted to find out why?Here are the reasons why Millennials don’t ride motorcycles, and why sales are down:1. Pants won’t pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.2. Can’t get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.3. Can’t use 2 hands to eat while driving.4. They don’t get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.5. Don’t have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.6 Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.7. Motorcycles don’t have air conditioning.8. They can’t afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.9. They are allergic to fresh air.10. Their pyjamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.14. It’s too hard to take selfies while riding.15. They don’t come with training wheels like their bicycles did.16. Motorcycles don’t have power steering or power brakes.17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.20 It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.22. Their man bun wont fit under a helmet.<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Sex education classes in schools should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching frigging peppa pig on repeat!</span>
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Being a doctor and a married man with kids, it feels like I’m living two lives. In one life there’s medicine, scarring images and long, painful hours. And in the other life I’m a doctor.</span>
I said to the barman, “Can I have a triple whisky.” He said, “Are you ok?” I said, “No, I lost my best mate today.” He said, “I’m sorry, did he suffer much?” I said, “Yeah, the church wedding was fucing horrendous.”
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Paddy & his wife are searching their teenage daughters room, they find a packet of fags. Paddy crys ” oh lord our daughters a smoker.” Minutes later they find a bottle of vodka. Paddy crys ”Saints preserve us our little girl is an alcoholic!” Next they find a packet of condoms ”GOD help us” shouts Paddy. ”She’s got a. Dick</span>
68 Shellby Stang
On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”And God saw it was good.On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”And God, again saw it was good.On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”And God agreed it was good.On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,the ten the monkey gave back,and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.Life has now been explained to you.There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Paddy was in France and was invited to a dinner party where chicken is being served. The French host comes across the wishbone and calls everyone to attention. He holds up the bone, breaks it apart and asks his guests, “Now, what historical figure does that remind you of?” Nobody had an answer. Very proudly, he said, “Bonaparte!” Paddy was very impressed with this and when he returned home to Ireland he decided to have a party and told his wife to serve chicken and to make sure that wishbone was on his plate. Calling his guests to his attention, he held the bone up, broke it in two and asked, “Now which historical character does that remind you of?” Nobody had an answer. Very pleased with himself, he said, “Napoleon!”</span>
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Teenagers Saul & Rachel were sat on a park bench watching the sun going down over Tel Aviv. Rachel said “Penny for your thoughts?” Saul said “I was thinking, we’ve been stepping out together for 3 weeks but I haven’t had a kiss from you yet.” Rachel obliged by planting a kiss gently on his cheek. They sat for a while and Rachel said again “Penny for your thoughts?” Saul replied “I was just thinking, it would be nice to have a cuddle.” Rachel responded by embracing him and Saul lay his head on her shoulder. A few minutes elapse then Rachel says once more “Penny for your thoughts?” Saul replied “I’m thinking, we’ve been stepping our for 3 weeks, I’d like to feel your hand on my leg.” Rachel responds by laying her palm on his thigh and leaves it tantalisingly near his crotch. After a few minutes Rachel looks at him amorously and again asks “Penny for your thoughts?” Saul replies “Rachel, I was just wondering when I’m going to get the three pennies you already owe me?”</span>
62 Vette fitted with an LS3 very cool
My young Son was terrified there was a Monster under his Bed,So I sat him down to reassure him.“Timmy, the Monster under your Bed has gone now and he’ll never bother you again.”“Really..? Are you sure, Daddy..?”“Yes, Son,” I repliedHe’s most probably been Eaten by the Giant seven foot Killer Clown living in our Attic”..Seems to have Worked,*Cos, he’s gone really quiet now!!
