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I was working in my shop when the cashier called me over. He said, “These two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar notes.” “What did they look like?” I asked. He said, “Fifty dollar notes.”
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>News: Apple introduces HomePod device that hears everything you say, knows every answer, and controls your entire home….Shouldn’t it be called the iWife?</span>
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>The male brain is a wonderful thing. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year from the moment you’re born….right up until you meet a girl with big Boobs</span>
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>The nurse looked at the patient and said, “I’ve never seen this before. I’m bringing in the doctor.” The doctor said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before. I’m showing you to the specialist.” The specialist said, “My god, I’ve never seen the like!” “What is it, something serious?” asked the patient. “Not really, it’s just that we’ve never treated a ginger in our STD clinic before.”</span>
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking.Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date.? I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you.He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7:00 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!Then he takes me downstairs, and what’s there but a luxury car… a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner… a marvelous dinner… lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! ““So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!”Dorothy: “Goodness gracious!… so you are telling me I shouldn’t go out with him?”Edna: “No, no, no… I’m just saying, wear an old dress.”No Nativity this year because the 3 Wise Men face a travel ban.The shepherds have been furloughed.The Inn keeper has shut under tier 3 regulations and had a slump in bookings.Santa won’t be working as he would break the rule of 6 with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donner and Blitzen.As for Rudolph, with that red nose, he should be isolating and taking a test.
This is a very sad story of the depression that can haunt a man. My friend Michael was so sick and tired of the world; of Covid, of Chinese aggression, of Global Warming, of BLM and the rest of the stories that our media deem important to broadcast.Michael drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favourite radio station and started the car.Two days later, a worried neighbour peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the police and ambulance and they broke in and pulled Michael from the car. Gave him a little sip of water and surprisingly he was in perfect condition but his Tesla had a flat battery.Jesus applied for a job as a carpenter. The boss said “We have a job for you, one in Bury, one in Jerusalem.”“I’ll have the one in Bury.” said Jesus“But the one in Jerusalem pays more.”“I know” said Jesus, “but the last time I worked there they hammered me with tax”….
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>My heart is broken…from one moment to another things went from joy to pain and sadness. I still don’t get how a wonderful night ended in such a tragedy. Everything was so chill, so normal; we were all laughing, having fun, and suddenly everything changed I can’t stop crying. I wish this pain on no one…Nobody should go through this … I can still hear my friend crying in panic “You’re gonna drop it , hold it, hold it” I tried but I couldn’t do anything … I dropped our only bottle of red wine on the floor and I couldn’t save it!..</span>
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Donald Trump’s doctor has now ‘cleared’ the hoarse coughing President to resume work and rallies. Dr. Conley obviously knows what he’s talking about, as he also gave Stevie Wonder a clean bill of health to start driving lessons.</span>
It looks great IJ, said many times it’s a huge credit to you carrying this all out during worrying times, enjoy & hope the new year brings good things aye!
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by
Micks.
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