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Why did the British wear red coats in battle?During the royal wedding, the millions around the world saw that Prince William chose to wear a uniform that included the famous British “red coat.”Many people have asked, “Why did the British wear red coats in battle?”A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took him to their headquarters, and the French General began to question him. Finally, as an afterthought, the French General asked, “Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don’t you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?”In his casual, matter-of-fact, way, the officer informed the General that the reason British officers wear red coats is so that if they are wounded, the blood won’t show, and the men they are leading won’t panic.And that is why, from that day forward, all French Army officers wear brown trousers!
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car.A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car again.The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park…” then the electric power goes out.Bob’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?”With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”<article>A major International company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the world.
In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.
The question was: A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman’s back. What is the man’s name?
After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers.
The first from Canada, says “My answer is, there IS no answer.”
The second, from New Zealand, says My answer is, that there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given.”
The third one from Australia says “I’m not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names.
It’s either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer.”</article>
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the bin. That was what probably was making her sick.”The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”“You’ve probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?”“I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed
A drunk was wondering around the parking lot of a pub, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the pub and stops the guy.“What the hell are you doing? ” he asks the drunk.“I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it. ““So how does feeling the roof help you? ” He asked the drunk.“Well,”….the drunk replied.“My car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!! “
A Teacher had Johnny put Worms in 4 jars – One with Smoke, One with Sperm, One with Alcohol, and One with Soil. Then he left them there for a day:The next day, the Worm in Smoke: DeadOne with Sperm: DeadOne with Alcohol: DeadOne with Soil: Alive“So what did you learn Johnny?” Asked the Teacher.Johnny said. “If I Drink, have Sex, and Smoke I won’t get Worms.<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Two guys were sitting at a bar one night drinking and talking about their wives. “My old lady is so ugly,” one said, ” that when she went to the beauty parlor, they told her that there was nothing they could do.” “You think that’s bad?” The other man asked. ” I took my wife to a plastic surgeon and asked him what he could do to make my wife look better. The only thing he could think of was adding a tail.</span>
A drunk goes into a bar. “Drinks for everyone, and one for you too.” he says to the bartender. The bartender serves everyone, including himself. “That’ll be £76, please.” I don’t have any money.” says the drunk. The bartender takes him outside and beats him up.
The next day the drunk comes back. “Drinks for everyone, including the bartender.” The bartender thinks to himself, he wouldn’t be so stupid to do the same thing again – he must have money this time, so he serves the drinks. But when he asks him to pay, the drunk tells him that he doesn’t have any money again. The bartender takes him outside and gives him a savage beating.
The next night, the same drunk comes in and tells the bartender to get a drink for everyone. “And not one for me tonight?” asks the bartender. “Nah,” says the drunk. “You get violent when you drink.”
Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.Client: Well, give me the bad news first.Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime sceneClient: Oh no! I’m ruined! What’s the good news?Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!
