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William Shakespeare went to get vaccinated.Nurse: Which arm?Shakespeare: “As you like it.”Nurse: Was that painful?Shakespeare: “Much ado about nothing.”Nurse: You will have to have a second jab.Shakespeare: “Measure for measure?”Nurse: So, how was the experience?Shakespeare: “A midsummer night’s dream!”Nurse: So what do you think of the govt handling of Covid?Shakespeare: “Comedy of Errors.”
Jamaica enters the Vaccine race with theirRASTA ZENICAIt’s not as affective as the others, but after the second dose you don’t care a fuck anymore!!BBQ RULES:
Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off ‘, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women!!.
Looks great!
Some guy in the pub said, “I went to see my doctor today. He diagonised me with a disease which will ruin my sexlife forever.”“What?” I asked. ” gonorrhoea? chlamydia? Aids?”“No,” he replied. “I’ve got arthritis in both hands.”
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Paddy asked his girlfriend for a clue as to wot he was getting for his birthday . She winked at him and said it starts with F and ends in UCK . “Oh my god” said Paddy “I’m getting a Firetruck!!</span>
47 Caddy
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Paddy and Mick have been planning a holiday but Covid has been stifling their plans. Paddy says he’ll go see what he can do. He comes back with a box of tampons. Mick asks what the hell are these things? Paddy replies “Well apparently if you use these you can swim, scuba dive, play tennis and golf and you can’t do any of these things right now.”</span>
A giant gorilla gatecrashed the world table tennis championship in China last night… The local media reported the event by saying ….There was a King Kong ding dong at the Hong Kong ping pong!!
Paddy and English George were in a pub. George says to Paddy, “if you had to choose between money and knowledge, what would you pick”. Paddy said money. George laughed and said “you Irish, I would have picked knowledge”. Paddy calmly replied, “good choice George, I lacked money, but you being English you lacked knowledge.
There was a ruckus going on down the street.One of the rioters threw a brick through our kitchen window and hit my wife on the head, knocking her out. I ran outside and chased the bastard down. I dragged him back to the house and pointed to my bloodied wife in a heap on the floor.I pulled out a knife and said, “It’s time to face the consequences of your actions.”Shaking, he said, “What are you going to do?”“Me?” I replied, handing him the knife. “I’m not going to do anything. YOU’RE going to finish making my sandwich.”<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Montana must have the only truly humane mountains in the world. I was driving thru a mountain pass and they had a sign that said pass with care. I was astounded I had no idea mountain passes could have feelings!</span>
