[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

According to a
solicitors letter in
my neighbour’s wheelie bin,
“I’m a stalker.”

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

Why is there disabled parking spots outside ice-skating rinks?

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

<article>

I just got a wooden motorcycle. It has a wooden frame, wooden handle bars, wooden wheels, and a wooden seat. And guess what?
It wooden start.

</article>

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

Confucius say …
Man who run in Front of car get tired.
Man who run behind Car get exhausted.
Man with one Chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many Prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong … Man with four balls cannot walk.
War does not determine who is right,War determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse Soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with Wife all day get no piece at night.
Man who drive like hell Bound to get there.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
Crowded elevator Smell different to midget.

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

Paddy left very rural Ireland and went to work in London, leaving behind his aged parents, with strict instructions to write home as soon as he was settled in his digs.

Weeks passed and then one day a package arrived with a letter. It said

“Dear Mam and dad, I arrived safely and quickly settled into my new digs. The landlady is very nice and I felt at home at once because she even had a photo of me in my room which I’m sending ye to see how well I’m doing”.

His mother opened up the package and out fell a small hand mirror. His father picked it up and looked into it and said,

“I’m worried, sure he’s aged an awful lot since he went to England “.

The mother stood behind her husband and looked into the mirror and said,

“You’re worried, no wonder he’s aged so much, look at the old biddy he’s feckin shacked up with!”.

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

I went to one of those positive thinking classes last night. . .
It was crap

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Arsenal have decided not to participate in the European Super League. They are starting their own breakaway league with just themselves. The bookies currently have them as second favourites to win it!!.</span>

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

I have liver disease caused by years of heavy drinking. My wife said I should go to BUPA, but I did the complete opposite….

I went to APUB !

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

Was a cool car!

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

I was writing my Autobiography into the wee small hours and fell asleep face down on the page. When I woke up the ink had fused the pages onto my skin and I couldn’t get them off.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>An alcoholic wakes up in jail. He asks the first police officer he sees “why am I here?” The officer replies “for drinking” The man replies “great, when do we start?”</span>

[MicksParticipant View build HERE Member since: February 20, 2019 Posts: 1 773]

 

[Author]

Posts