Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Found a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge on a plate with a note that said “don’t eat me”Now there’s an empty plate in the fridge with a note on it that says“don’t tell me what to do”I was playing scrabble with the wife last night, and I am sure she is making words up.
What the hell does ” foreplay ” mean anyway?
The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”The graduate with a Philosophy degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Two camels, a father and son are grazing. The younger camel looks up to his father and says “Dad! Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?” The father camel looks down on the son and says. “Why, so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water.” The young camel looks astonished and says “Wow, I didn”t know that!” A few minutes later, the younger camel pips up again “Dad! …Why do we have really thick eyelids?” The older father, rather agitated by his son”s curiosity, answers quickly. “So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms. “Wow!” The young camel says…Another minute later and the father camel hears his son again. “Dad!”. “What now!” The father camel asks. The son then asks. “Why do we have huge feet?” “Well son.” The father camel starts. “We need to tread through the sand and out feet are big so we can travel much easier…”A few minutes pass before the father hears his son again. The father camel, clearly agitated turns round. “What!?””Dad…. What the hell are we doing in Dublin Zoo then?”</span>
61 Impala SS 409
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>My rather large girlfriend decided to take an aerobics class, She bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour. But, by the time the fat cow got her leotard on, the class was over!!.. <span class=”pq6dq46d tbxw36s4 knj5qynh kvgmc6g5 ditlmg2l oygrvhab nvdbi5me sf5mxxl7 gl3lb2sf hhz5lgdu”>
</span></span>
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Bob, a 60-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replied, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask: “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age,” Bob replied. “What? Did you tell her you were only 50?” Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”</span>
57 Jag
Checkup”Paddy goes to see his doctor and asks : “Do you think I’ll live to be a hundred?”His doctor asks Paddy “Well, that depends…Do you drink?”Paddy says,”Oh, no sir! I abstain from all alcohol. Soft drinks too. I just drink plenty of fresh water.”“Do you smoke?”“No, sir! Never smoked in my life, and I stay away from any place with second hand smoke.”“Do you eat a lot of sugary and greasy foods?”“No, sir! I carefully watch my diet and caloric intake, and I’m sure to eat plenty of vegetables.”“Do you go to parties? Stay up late? Are you sexually promiscuous?”“No, not at all! Early to bed and early to rise! And abstinence is key.”Paddy says proudly.!!The doctor raises an eyebrow at Paddy, and asks,”So… Why exactly do you want to live to be a hundred?” <span class=”pq6dq46d tbxw36s4 knj5qynh kvgmc6g5 ditlmg2l oygrvhab nvdbi5me sf5mxxl7 gl3lb2sf hhz5lgdu”></span><span class=”pq6dq46d tbxw36s4 knj5qynh kvgmc6g5 ditlmg2l oygrvhab nvdbi5me sf5mxxl7 gl3lb2sf hhz5lgdu”>
</span><span id=”jsc_c_lc” class=”bp9cbjyn j83agx80 b3onmgus”></span>
<span class=”tojvnm2t a6sixzi8 abs2jz4q a8s20v7p t1p8iaqh k5wvi7nf q3lfd5jv pk4s997a bipmatt0 cebpdrjk qowsmv63 owwhemhu dp1hu0rb dhp61c6y iyyx5f41″> </span>Is it okay that I start drinking as soon as the kids are at school.
Or does that make me a bad teacher?A young woman goes into confession, she says, “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. My boyfriend came over while I was babysitting and we started kissing. One thing lead to another and he… Well he wanted..” and the young woman hesitated. The priest asked the woman, ” my child, did he take you against your will?” To which she replied, “Oh no Father, it was against the China cabinet and boy did those dishes rattle!”
Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.“Oh no, sir, we don’t sell them in the States, they’re a health hazard!”“Okay,” I replied. “I’ll just take these two assault rifles then.”
