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Went for a sports massage because of my bad back. The lady said this doesn’t come with a ‘happy ending’ Damn right it didn’t! ….At the end it cost me $140
Don Smith in the HR 186S. Bathurst 1968. 145 MPH on Conrod
56 Thunderbird
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scared y-cat.</span><span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>The first kid says, “My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed.”</span><span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>The second kid replies,”Yeah? Well, that’s nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the night shift, he sleeps with the lady next door.”</span>Terrorists in Baghdad recently blew up a drainage system. Police there are calling it a ‘sewer-side’ bombing..
Just had my 6th driving lesson.. Sure I’m getting ripped off.. He said “well done Mick next week you can sit in the front .”
The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:– The tender one– the amazing one– Lady of my dreamsShe got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother. Then she called the second number on which his sister replied . When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole months salary to make up for her sin.Once his mother came to know of the story, she sold all her jewellery and gave him the moneyHusband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as “Abu Khalid the electrician”
Every year, Jim entered the state lottery hoping to win.He never did. One day, after praying vigorously and hoping for God’s message, he headed out to the State Fair. A flash of lightning struck him as he was passing by Nadine’s carnival booth. She was bending over and he saw she was not wearing panties. He could see the number 7 written on each of her butt cheeks.He bet on 77 as he thought God had given him a sign. He lost again.Sad.The winning number was 707.Moral of the story: Never underestimate the importance of @ssholes in your life.I told the doctor that I was experiencing hearing loss in one ear.
He asked, “what ear is it?” I said, “2021”
Whenever I hear the expression there’s good and bad in all, I remember Sir Isaac Newton came from Grantham. And so did Margaret Thatcher.
Beer is the secret to catching fish. In order to think like a fish, you have to drink like a fish.<span id=”jsc_c_tl” class=”bp9cbjyn j83agx80 b3onmgus”></span><span id=”jsc_c_tl” class=”bp9cbjyn j83agx80 b3onmgus”></span>
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A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answered the door.She proclaim “I want to join your biker club!”The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she would be allowed to join.So the biker asks her “You have a bike?”The little old lady says “Yea, that’s my Harley over there” and points to a Harley parked in the driveway.The biker asks her “Do you smoke?”The little old lady says “Yea, I smoke. I smoke four packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I’m shooting pool.”The biker was impressed and asks “Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?”The little old lady says “No, I’ve never been picked up by the fuzz, but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”
