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<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Went to the motor show, and as i parked up everyone from the BMW owners club rushed over and started pointing and videoing my old Toyota. That’s when i realised I’d left the indicator on!.. </span>
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Guys, if your marriage fails don’t blame just her. It takes two people to turn a marriage into a toxic relationship……Blame her mother as well.</span>
52 Customline
<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.</span>
A Sunday School teacher asks her class where Jesus is.Little Susie says, “In Heaven!”Little Amy says, “In my heart!”Little Johnny says, “In my bathroom!”Perplexed, the Sunday School teacher asks little Johnny why Jesus would be in his bathroom.“I don’t know, I just hear my dad every morning banging on the bathroom door and yelling ‘Jesus Christ are you still in there?!’”
I really was shipwrecked on a remote island once. I was there for five years before I was rescued.The first responder to reach me was a woman in a tight wet suit. Mother Nature and genes had been very kind to her. She asked how long it had been since I had enjoyed a smoke. I told her, “Five years.” She unzipped a pocket on her wet suit and pulled out a waterproof pouch with a wonderful Cuban cigar.“How long has it been since you’ve had a drink?” “Five years,” was my response. She unzipped another pocket on her wet suit and pulled out a flask of Jack Daniels.Next, she started to unzip the front of her wet suit as she asked, “How long has it been since you’ve played around?” I fell to my knees. Tears came to my eyes. I exclaimed, “Don’t tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there, too!!!”
You ever had one of those days where you feel like your forgetting something. I pulled into the garage, got all the groceries out of the car. As I was walking in the house, my phone started ringing. I said “Hello honey whats up?” She asked “Where are you?” I said “I just got home from Woolworths, why?”She said “I know, I went with you..”Paddy said to Mick I was being chatted up by a right ugly bird in the pub last night.
She asked “Do you have a nickname?”
I answered “Yes, it’s sledge”
“Is it because you are smooth ride?” She giggled.
“No” came my reply, “It’s because I’m always being pulled by dogs”<article><span style=”font-size: 15px;”><b>Time Zones</b></span>
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish the time zones
Long
Why? Putin asks him.Ah, I can’t find myself with these times:
I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep,
I last woke you up at 4 in the morning, but I thought it was only evening,
I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday,
I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow.
Well, these are just minor awkwardness… Putin answered him.
JUST MINOR ISSUES?!! Do you remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn’t taken off yet !!
</article>
Andy goes to see a lawyer and tells him,
“My neighbor borrowed $300 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?”
The Lawyer asks Andy, “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?”
“Not really,” replies Andy. “I thought we were good enough friends and trusted him.”
“I see, says the Lawyer.
“Okay, then we will write him a letter, enclosing a stamped addressed return envelope, asking him for the $3,000 he owes you,” said the lawyer.
“But it’s only $300,” replied the man.
“Precisely, replies the Lawyer.” “And that’s what I expect he will reply and then we’ll have our proof before taking him to Court!”At 12pm yesterday I finally plucked up the courage to phone Gamblers Anonymous.
They told me to phone back at 20:1.
