CommodoresPlus

Police in Lagos,Nigeria have just broken into the flat of a man that had died.

They found 150 million pounds.

Checking his computer they found out he has been trying to give it away for the last 15 years, but nobody was replying to his emails!!

This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.”

The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.”

The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.”

Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous woman, wearing a wet sui…[Read more]

Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A. Don’t ask her out again.

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen’s breasts for this reason.

He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King’s chief…[Read more]

A FROG GOES INTO A BANK
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he…[Read more]

My best mate is the best pranker ever. Every time i come home early he is always hiding naked under my bed waiting to jump out on me. How he sneaks in without the wife even knowing is beyond me. Legend!!.

Not so cool, but certainly extinct!

I called a lady who owed me money and she didn’t pick my calls. I called 10 times and still no answer. Then I sent her a message –
“Hi madam, I’m not calling for the money issue, I wanted to tell you that I just witnessed two girls fighting for your husband in town today, it was a big fight and he was just there watching, and then one of the girls…[Read more]

Barry had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Barry’s 18th birthday came around, he and…[Read more]

It’s always exciting getting a Valentines Day Card shoved through your door, no stamp, just your name on the envelope.

Except, when you’re in prison!!.