CommodoresPlus

<h2 class=”_2cuy _509y _2vxa”>Just got pulled over by the police the officer said to me “sir I can smell alcohol”</h2>
<h2 class=”_2cuy _509y _2vxa”>I said “yes that’s because you are not respecting social distancing”</h2>

Young lad driving to work in these troubled times, is stopped at a checkpoint.
“Where are you going ” Says the guard
” I’m going to work, we’re an essential service”
“Oh yeah” Says the guard ” And pray tell, what do you do that’s so essential”
“We build arseholes” Says the young lad
“Sorry, explain that to me” Says the guard
Young lad says, ” We…[Read more]

Absolutely devastated. A very sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion and why during this terrible time? He slept with one of his patients (they were good friends) and can now no longer work in the profession he loves. What a waste of time, effort,…[Read more]

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, rea…[Read more]

My girlfriend rang me and said, “Are we going to get married?”

I said, “Of course we are, babe”

She said, “Then why the fuk aren’t you here at the church?”

A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him “You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!”
One day Arthur’s mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster,…[Read more]

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow:

It was addressed, ‘Dad’. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that…[Read more]

A furious pounding in a hotel room in the middle of the night awakened a number of guests.

The hotel manager went to the room, and when his knocks went unanswered, he let himself in. He found an elderly man cursing and banging on the wall with both fists.

“Stop that immediately, sir!” the manager ordered. “You’re disturbing everyone in the…[Read more]

1955 Chev Belair

“What’s the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine,” the society matron asked the zookeeper.

“The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick.”

This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager’s office.

The zoo manager said, “Ma’am, I…[Read more]