CommodoresPlus

BBQ RULES:

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes…[Read more]

REGRET’s — from the Hospital & Medical Staff.

We are pleased to inform you that the biopsy of the redness on your penis was NOT cancer, it was lipstick.

We deeply regret the amputation.

A guy from Texas is invited to a Halloween costume party while in Chicago on business so he visits a costume shop.

He says, “I’m going to a costume party, and I want to go as Adam.”

The girl looks him over, and then brings out a fig leaf.

He says, “Not big enough.”

She brings out a bigger one.

He says, “Still not big enough.”

She brings out…[Read more]

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because i…[Read more]

XM with a 5.4L Boss, very tight but Cool!

XM with a 5.4L Barra, very tight but Cool!

Paddy and Mick were enjoying a few pints down at the local pub, when Paddy said to Mick:

“If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” replied Mick, “fire away.”

“Well,” said Paddy, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?”

“It’s probably because of her speech impediment,”…[Read more]

An Englishman, a Scotsman & an Irishman attend an interview to join the police force. The Englishman is called in 1st. the interviewing officer levels with him “we badly need officers so this is going to be a little unorthodox, answer 1 simple question & you’re on the force”
“Ok I can probably manage that”
“Who killed Jesus Christ?”
Th…[Read more]

A woman went into the butcher shop to buy a chicken for dinner. The butcher had just one chicken left in the ice barrel. He reached in and pulled out a fine looking fowl and placed in carefully on the scales and announced that it weighed 4 pounds.

The woman asked if he had one a little larger. The fast thinking butcher put the chicken back into…[Read more]

1965 Austin Healey

Local church put out a call for a new bell ringer and a man with no arms answered.

“How will you ring the bell my son? You have no arms.” the pastor asked.

“Take me to the bell Padre and I’ll show you.” the man replied.

So they go up the bell tower and the man proceeded to ring the bell using his head.

“Wonderful my son. You start this…[Read more]