CommodoresPlus

Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one’s view’s and by trying to make it objective, and by considering each and every one’s valid opinion, I honestly…[Read more]

My daughter just walked into the living room and said, “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me…[Read more]

This is why Men shouldn’t answer questions.
WIFE : “What would U do if I died? Would U get married again?”
HUSBAND : “Definitely not!”
WIFE : “Why not? Don’t U like being married?”
HUSB : “Of course I do.”<span class=”text_exposed_show”>
WIFE : “Then why wouldn’t U remarry?”
HUSB : “Okay, okay, I’d get married again.”
WIFE : “U would?” (wi…[Read more]

The teacher said..
Let’s begin by reviewing some history. Who said: ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death!’?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up:
“Patrick Henry, 1775,” he said.

“Very good! “Who said: ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall…[Read more]

1970 Baracuda 383ci

A woman took her car to her mechanic.

She told him, “Every time I take my friends out in my car, there is this terrible smell. It never happens when I’m alone.”

The mechanic was puzzled, so he said, “OK, let’s go for a spin and see what the problem is.”

Off they went. She drove down a one-way street in the wrong direction at 60 MPH, swerved,…[Read more]

Dear Woolworths,

Last week I purchased some of your “smart price” toilet tissue and I have some thoughts to share with you.

For my first use I folded it twice like I normally would, but it was so weak it broke, at which point I realised I had fingered myself. That’s right. No romance, no weekend in Venice, just one swift digit up the wrong ‘un…[Read more]

F.F.S. people take offence at any thing today.
Met a bloke with no legs at the bus stop.
And I only asked how he was gettin on!!!.

There was a child on a farm named Timmy. Now Timmy loved growing up on the farm with his family. He enjoyed helping out in the fields, he loved feeding the sheep and cows, and he was always happy to help out in the barn. The one thing Timmy did not like, was having to clean out the outhouse. He absolutely hated that.

Now one day there was a…[Read more]

I’ve sure gotten old!

I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes

I’m half blind,

Can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

Take 40 different medications that

Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia

Have poor circulation;

Hardly feel my hands and…[Read more]