CommodoresPlus

1971 Mach 1

Just heard on Sky News that there is to be another protest in London tomorrow about coloured cake decorations, police are expecting hundreds and thousands!!

Texted the wife – Hi Darling. I’m in the pub with a couple of mates having a quiet drink.. Someone just coughed, so we have all been quarantined. See you in 14 days!!

God went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’

The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’

And the Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’

‘Can you give us an example?’

‘Thou shall not kill.’

‘Not kill? We’re not interested..’

So He went to the Blacks and said, ‘I have Commandments.’

The Bl…[Read more]

One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine.

He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny.

As he gets closer, he realises that the shiny object is in fact an…[Read more]

I walked past this little old man sitting on his porch rocking back and forth in his rocking chair. ”I couldnt help but notice how happy you look, whats your secret for a long happy life? ”
I asked.
”I smoke 3 packs a day” he answered “I also drink a case of whiskey a week,
eat a full fry up every day and I never exercise”. ”Thats amazing”…[Read more]

Prince Phillip on his 99th, talking to Andrew. “It takes a lot to be the black sheep of this family, but somehow you fucing managed it”

The maternity class was full of pregnant women and their husbands. The instructor was saying “Ladies, remember to walk as often as possible. Walking will help strengthen the pelvic muscles and make delivery much easier. Just remember to take breaks when necessary and try to walk on soft ground like grass, or a path. And gentlemen, it would be good…[Read more]

Dating Katie Price is a lot like Jury service. It usually lasts about two weeks and eventually most people have done it.

1955 Ford Thunderbird Roadster