CommodoresPlus

Mr Khan my local shopkeeper must have known about Covid a long time ago. He’s been making his wife wear a face covering for years.

Couple in a restaurant sitting at a table for two, next table to them is a table for one, and there’s a fella sitting at it who happens to be suffering from Leprosy. When the couples starter arrives the guy looks across at the leper with a look of disgust on his face and pushes his uneaten starter away, the leper notices this and says…I…[Read more]

In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen.
And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.

I was given the task of making sure no one touched a fence that had just been painted, and do you know what? It was like watching cricket.

A new and easy test for COVID-19 doing the rounds.

Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.

If you can then you are halfway there. Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.

I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time,…[Read more]

FC Coupe?

First world war, two trenches 200 metres apart, one occupied by Germans the other by an Irish regiment, theres a stalemate , nobody has shot anybody for a whole week, on both sides they are getting very bored.
Mick says to Paddy…I’ve an idea, what’s the most common name in Germany ?
Paddy says…Gunther, I’d say it’s Gunther.
Mick says….…[Read more]

Yes great advice there as pipes are the biggest challenge in any V8 build.

I got home at 3am, steaming drunk, and half a kebab down my shirt. My wife had a fit.I thought “I’ll sort her out in the morning. I’m not gonna let her epilepsy ruin my night”.

The ideal man comes home early, doesn’t come first, doesn’t complain doesn’t cheat, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t gamble and doesn’t exist.