CommodoresPlus

A kid walks into a general store, walks up to the owner and asks for a job:
The owner says. “you think you’d make a good salesman?”
The Kid says. “I don’t know. I think so.”
Owner says. “I’ll tell you what. Next customer comes in, you watch me. If you think you can do what I do, you have a job!”
A few minutes later a customer comes in. The owner…[Read more]

I went to a flower shop on my way to the hospice and asked for a dozen roses for my wife. “I’m sorry, sir,” said the florist, “I only have some with a couple of days life left in them.” “No problem,” I replied. “That’s more than enough.”

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<span class=”tojvnm2t a6sixzi8…[Read more]

71 Mach 1 Fastback

Wrong Number
It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang.
“Hello?” I said.
A girl’s voice came over the line. “Can I speak to Ben, please?”
I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I…[Read more]

Nice HR

Paddy Came Home Late
Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Finney. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung…[Read more]

I’m not saying I get distracted but…..

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:<span class=”text_exposed_show”>
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I walk toward the car,
I notice bills on…[Read more]

When the wife hooked up with me, she expected the 3 S’s:

Sensitivity, Sincerity and Sharing…

What she really ended up with were the 3 B’s:

Burps, Body odour and Beer Breath..!

Yes thanks that’s the easiest part of my mods so far, due to covid my spare parts & fittings are taking a while to arrive.

Little Johnny is passing his parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his mum and dad in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims “Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?” Daddy, relieved that Johnny’s not asking more…[Read more]

With the balancer if you don’t have the install tool, buy a longer bolt or better still a piece of threaded booker rod with nut & washer to wind the new one on. Can be dicey using the old bolt as there’s a chance of stripping the starting thread out of the crank.