CommodoresPlus

Boris Johnson walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?”
Cashier: “It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?”
Johnson: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Boris Johnson, the Prime…[Read more]

In Heaven Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn’t think he would last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven. So he phoned Jesus to ask for the day off. “Why, Peter,” Jesus said. “You know your health is my first concern. Take as much time as you need.” As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter, he decided to handle the…[Read more]

paddy’s wife awakes during the night to find that her husband
is not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of
coffee in front of him.<span class=”text_exposed_show”>
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear…[Read more]

Bit of an update following some other pressing jobs I had to do, almost ready to install.

Some may of noticed have totally removed the inherent in tank filter altogether including the intank pressure regulator. I have bought an external adjustable pressure reg, which I will mount close to the fuel tank. Have fitted a…[Read more]

Father O’Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a
deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: “Good…[Read more]

A rather large lady was sat down and noticed there were 3 old ladies standing she turned to a man sat near her and says “if you were a gentleman you would get up and let one of those ladies sit down” the man replies “if, you were a lady you’d get up and let all 3 of them sit down, you fat bitch!!”.

Sean flew out of town for a few days to attend his buddies funeral. Upon return, he wasn’t quite ready to go home yet. Instead, he told his cab driver to take him someplace where he could get some action. The cab driver took him to his house!!

A woman is on one of those funeral cruises where the ashes of loved ones may be dumped into the sea. She had been married to a real cheapskate, who after 30 years of marriage finally died. The lady had her husband cremated, at his wishes, because he felt a plot would cost too much. After the memorial services, she went to the railing and poured…[Read more]

St Peters NSW 1970

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex:

“Tarzan not know sex!” He replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said. “Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree!”

Horrified, she said. “Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to…[Read more]

I love my job as an anesthetist.

Just as my patient is about to go under, I love to call them by the wrong name and tell them not to worry your vasectomy will be over shortly.