CommodoresPlus

A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald eagle and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went something like this:
Judge: “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?”
Man: “Yes I did. But if you let me argue my case, I’ll explain what happened.”
Judge: “Proceed.”
Man: “I got lost in…[Read more]

‘I’m a really good drunk,’ my wife told me, ‘I don’t get into fights, I’m not hurtful.’ I said, ‘No, you save that for when you’re sober.’

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A woman’s anger is like a ”Check Engine Light” There is no way to figure why it came on. Just ignore it & hope it goes away!

<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Nasa plans to put a woman on the moon by 2024. It would have been 2022 but they need two more years to develop an automatic gearbox for the lunar…[Read more]

Giving the wife a lift, we were stopped by a police officer.
He said ” Excuse me but could I see your licence”.
The wife shouted to the officer.
“Now look here you, I’m in hurry, so don’t you start annoying my husband when he’s had a drink”.

I was so drunk last night when I got to the bottom of the stairs ..I took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear off
I crept upstairs very quietly………It was only when I got to the top of the stairs I realised I was on a fucing bus!!.

A bloke from India has moved in next door to me, he says hes has traveled the world, swam with sharks, wrestled bears, climbed the highest mountains and eats vindaloo. It comes as no surprise he`s name is Bin dair Dundat!!