CommodoresPlus

A woman who was widowed at a very young age was in the store buying groceries one day. And being several months since her husband died, she was feeling a little lonely. She noticed the young boy who was bagging her groceries at the checkout, a strong strapping country boy. And she asked him if he would carry her groceries out to the car for her.…[Read more]

My wife is leaving me because I ask for sex far too often.
We’re going to see a divorce lawyer tomorrow. The wife says she wants a quickie.
And she’s got the cheek to talk about me?..

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
“May we see the new baby?” one asked.
“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”
Thirty minutes had passed, and another…[Read more]

“I always stir my tea with my left hand”,
said the Englishman.

“I always stir my tea with my right hand”,
said the Scotsman.

“How about you?” the Irishman was asked.

”Oh me?” said the Irishman,
”I always use a feckin spoon”

<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>I had an affair with a stunning woman once but it didn’t last. Not wanting my wife to discover any perfume or make up on me, I told her not to wear any.…[Read more]

As a kid I used to crawl down the stairs pretending to be spider man

As an adult I crawl up the stairs pretending to be sober

I went to the garage this morning for petrol. The first pump wouldn’t work, the second wouldn’t nor the third. I went into the shop and said to the blonde girl behind the counter, “Have you got your pumps on?”
She said, “No, I’m wearing Ugg boots

<span id=”jsc_c_k9″ class=”bp9cbjyn j83agx80 b3onmgus”></span>
<span class=”tojvnm2t…[Read more]

<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Little Mary wanders into her parent bedroom late one night and asks if they know how long they have lived at that house, then she holds up two fingers.…[Read more]

One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine.

He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny.

As he gets closer, he realises that the shiny object is in…[Read more]

The Doctor said to Paddy’s wife, “Quick! Paddy is having a stroke!” Paddy’s wife replied, ” Shit, not again, Should I look the other way?”

Mirrors, I was told never to use them!