CommodoresPlus

A guy sits in a taxi and sees his wife entering a hotel with another man, and tells the driver, “Do you want to earn $5000 right away?”
The driver excitedly said, “What do I have to do?”
“Bring my wife by the hair out of that hotel, here’s a picture of her.”
After a while the driver is seen dragging a woman by the hair, while kicking and beating…[Read more]

The teacher was telling the kids about the Birds and the Bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest in Heaven.
Little Johnny at the back of the class put his hand up and asks the teacher,
“Are you sure about the Stork bit, Miss..?
“Cos I…[Read more]

<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>One Sunday morning, my wife and I were having a nice quiet breakfast when I suddenly said to her, ” When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff…[Read more]

Little Johnny is sitting in front of the TV watching a program about NASA.

“I wish I could be shot into space,” he said.

“You would have been if your father had done what he was told” replies his mother!

I just rang alcohol anonymous…..I Told them I was worried I didn’t have enough beer in the fridge.
They’re quite rude, aren’t they…?

<span class=”d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m” dir=”auto”>Tommy Cooper was an hour late for a Theatre performance he was giving and said to the angry Theatre Manager, I was on time but then came across sign at…[Read more]

I’ve sure gotten old! …I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet…[Read more]

A group of men & women waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said,
“I want you to make two lines:
One line for the men who were true heads of their own household
“The other line for the men who were dominated by their women.”
“I want all the women to report to St. Peter.”
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of…[Read more]

As a singer I sing at many funerals & I was recently asked by a funeral director to play & sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery out in the country. As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost. I finally arrived an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had…[Read more]